After you have received your critique, make the necessary changes to you constructed response and then submit the final draft form me in Google Classroom.
Blank Article
Blank Graphic Organizer
Annotated Article/GO
Sentence Frames
After you are done close reading and annotating the text, you are to use the sentence the sentence frames to compose your constructed response. You are then to evaluate the response of TWO peers. Your evaluation should be critical in nature and should discuss ALL parts of the response. Everything cant be correct, so your job is to help them improve their analysis and writing by finding mistakes and discussing those mistakes in a respectful tone and manner. Your response should be a minimum of THREE sentences.
After you have received your critique, make the necessary changes to you constructed response and then submit the final draft form me in Google Classroom. Blank Article Blank Graphic Organizer Annotated Article/GO Sentence Frames
Damoli McIntyre
10/28/2016 11:43:46 am
Damoli Mcintyre
Ashanti Jackson
10/28/2016 11:48:59 am
i think you should just put trailing minors like adult
Kenya Gibson
10/28/2016 04:32:46 pm
I think you should put the name the other juvenile case.
:P Timmy :D
10/29/2016 04:26:13 pm
WOWZERS you wrote a lot! but yea what Ashanti said :) but overall you did a great job!
Shaunteria Saylor
10/30/2016 11:07:07 am
In your response every time you use the term "key idea" it should be replaced with event. Also, in the sentence when you said "From this statement the author wants the reader to question why were the two teens tried as an adult?" I believe you should say "From this evidence we can infer that the author wants the reader to question why the two teens were trialled as adults?". Other than that your response is great!
arquria
11/2/2016 03:25:20 pm
Change up the central idea its more to it
Ashanti Jackson
10/28/2016 11:45:41 am
The central idea in the text, “Boy who Killed Teacher is Found Guilty of Murder,” focuses on
Lauren Jones
10/28/2016 05:59:47 pm
You spelled Nathaniel like "Natanielle" a few times in your response, fix it. Everytime you say "key idea" in your response, replace it with "events" instead. You should delete your redundance here:"The article articulates ielle is the second to be tried as an adult.” He is the second 14 year-old African American to be tried as an adult.", since both sentences mean the same thing. Overall, you need to reread your entire response since there are a plethora of grammatical errors within it.
Damoli McIntyre
10/28/2016 09:20:22 pm
Ashanti you should cite textual evidence like add the paragraph where you got the information from. I dont believe the whole article was about controversy in the justice system??? the article talked about teen convictions. Correct all your grammar issues
Timya :)
10/29/2016 04:23:28 pm
I agree with what Lauren said you just have minor problems but remember to indent and capitalized the beginning :)
Kenya Gibson
10/28/2016 04:31:14 pm
The central idea in the text “Boy Who Killed Is Found Guilty of Murder” focuses on Controversy in the Justice System. Canedy develops the central idea by introducing the case, describing the motive, and debating Laws. Initially, Canedy introduces the first key idea by introducing Nathaniel case by discussing both Nathaniel and Lionel cases. Canedy develops the first key idea by explaining how the jury convicted a 14-year-old. “A Jury convicted a 14 year old boy of second degree murder” (Canedy, Paragraph 1). The author introduces his next key idea of describing nathaniel motive. Canedy develops the second key idea by explaining how the murder was carried out. Nathaniel murder his teacher because “he was suspended from school for throwing water balloons” (Canedy, Line 13). To conclude, Canedy introduces the final key idea by +describing the position of the politicals. Canedy develops the final key idea of the case by discussing both Nathaniel and Lionel cases. Consequently, Canedy develops and unfolds the central idea of “ Boy Who Killed Teacher Is Found Guilty of Murder” by introducing the case, describing the motive, and debating Laws.to show that Controversy in the Justice System.
Shaunteria Saylor
10/30/2016 11:11:28 am
In your response everytime you used the term key idea replace it with event. In this sentence "To conclude, Canedy introduces the final key idea by +describing the position of the politicals." You should say "politicians" instead of politicals.
Lauren Jones
10/31/2016 04:45:16 pm
Well, you really have gotten right to the point here! Firstly, replace the word "key ideas" with "events" each time you mention it in your response. Next, your response is missing an important factor, an explanation. After you cite evidence from the article, you should always explain the importance of that quote or paraphrase that you chose. Delete the '+' sign in line 8 of your response.
Lauren Jones
10/28/2016 05:41:17 pm
The central idea in the text “Boy Who Killed Teacher is Found Guilty of Murder” focuses on the debate over teen convictions. Canedy develops this central idea by initially introducing the background of the case of Nathaniel Brazil, then articulating the offender’s reaction to the verdict, and finally debating laws that would affect future juvenile offenders. Initially, Canedy introduces the first event of introducing Nathaniel Brazill’s case by discussing the accused’s charge. Canedy then develops the event by further explaining those said charges of killing his favorite English teacher in the second- degree and how the jury came to those charges (para. 1-2). Canedy includes these details to prove how conflicted the jury felt about sentencing a 14 year old boy to prison for life without parole, and how they came to the conclusion of only charging him with second- degree murder. The author then introduces the event of articulating the offender’s reaction to the verdict by presenting the accused’s confusion. Canedy develops the second event by describing his and his client’s experiences in the courtroom. These experiences include the accused’s ignorance of the verdict, as he says “Not too bad” to his lawyer (para. 8) after it has been given. Overall, this means that the defendant did not fully realize the severity of the sentence he faced, which proves that he is too immature to understand what he has done. To conclude, Canedy introduces the final event of debating laws that would affect other juvenile criminals by describing the positions of different political officials which includes Florida Senator Walter Campbell and Florida Senator Jeb Bush (para. 23-24). Canedy develops the final event by explaining how they should solve the problem of trying childhood offenders by proposing new ideas that include writing the senator himself (para. 24). Consequently, Canedy develops and unfolds the events by introducing Nathaniel’s case, articulating the accused’s actions after the verdict, and debating laws that would affect young offenders to show the evident debate over teen convictions.
Taleesha
10/30/2016 11:43:33 pm
Great response. You made minor errors, you used "initially" back to back. You put "florida senator" twice, jeb bush was the governer. In the second to last sentence you said "trying" did you mean trialing. Also after that second to last sentence you should add a sentence to explain how the the last event went with the central idea. Like you did the other ones.
arquria
11/2/2016 03:26:18 pm
She is right change up some of your words because some of them repeat
Laurennnnnnnnnnn Hester
10/29/2016 11:25:43 am
Lauren Hester
Taleesha
10/30/2016 11:48:06 pm
Great response! You could make it awesome if you added the explaintion of the events, like how it connected with the cental idea after you have described the event you use. Grat response very scholarly.
Taleesha
10/31/2016 10:32:54 pm
I forgot to mention, i dont know if dr. Attis has a problem with it. Bit it's your citations, the (). They can go inside the sentence with a period at the end. They aldo dont require a period if it is at the beganning of a sentance (you did that some where). One last thing us to add a space between ().
Timya Harden :P
10/29/2016 04:17:28 pm
Timya Harden
Damoli
10/30/2016 09:47:36 am
I dont think you should've re- introduced the title in sentence 2 because you already told us the title, now the about the evidence you found
Timya Harden
10/30/2016 12:44:45 pm
I explained my evidence !! and I re-introduced it because the first way I did it was going to sound slow.
Ashanti Jackson
10/29/2016 06:38:14 pm
you also have to have a wrap up sentence at the end. and lol love the smile :)
Shaunteria Saylor
10/30/2016 09:31:43 am
Shaunteria Saylor
Shaunteria Saylor
10/30/2016 09:35:39 am
Shaunteria Saylor
Are’yona Hurt
10/30/2016 04:31:38 pm
The central idea in the text “Boy Who Killed Teacher is Found Guilty of Murder” focuses on debate over teen convictions. Canedy develops the central idea by introducing cases, describing the motive, and debating laws. Initially, Canedy introduces the first key idea of introducing cases by talking about both cases. Canedy, then develops the first key idea by talking about specific charges. In the text, Canedy acknowledged that “Nathiel Brazill, guilty of the most severe charge he faced, first-degree murder, thus sparing him a mandatory sentence of life in prison without parole.” (Para 1). This evidence supports the cental idea by instead of giving Nathiel life without parole, the judge decided to give him 25 years to life. The author then introduces his next key idea of describing the motive. Canedy develops the second key idea by explaining how the murder is carried out. In the text, Canedy explained that, “after he was suspended from school for throwing water balloons last May 26, the boy returned with a .25-caliber handgun and shot Mr. Grunow.” (Para 13). To conclude, Canedy introduces the final key idea of debating laws by explaing the positions of political officials. Canedy develops the final idea by analyzing by describing both sides. In the text, Canedy explains that, “jurors polled themselves to see whether they favored on first or second-degree murder; it was, she said, “split down the middle.”. (Para 15). Consequently, Canedy develops and unfolds the central idea of debate over teen convictions by introducing cases, describing motive, and debating laws to show the debate over teen convictions.
Arquria
10/31/2016 08:53:00 am
Arquria Hughes
Tsleesha
10/31/2016 10:49:45 pm
Decent response. You forgot one event. And did not explain very well.
T. Devine. Guy
10/31/2016 11:35:43 pm
Areyona Hurt
11/3/2016 10:32:31 am
Comments are closed.
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