After you are done close reading and annotating the text, you are to use the template to compose a rhetorical precis. You are then to evaluate the precis of one peer. Your evaluation should be critical in nature and should discuss ALL parts of the precis. Everything cant be correct, so your job is to help them improve their analysis and writing by finding mistakes and discussing those mistakes in a respectful tone and manner. Your response should be a minimum of 4 sentences.
Kahjirah Harris
10/2/2016 11:13:19 am
Thomas Paine in the article, The American Crisis, argues that the colonist need to unite to fight against England. Paine supports his argument by first describing how England controls and literally owns the colonies and that this life is like slavery. He then explains that no man should hold that much power unless that man is God. Lastly, the author illustrates that if the colonists do not unite, America will be in an inconceivable ruin and it will be no one's fault but the colonists themselves. Paine's purpose is to convince the colonists from every background that they must fight for liberty so that they can defeat England and live a tyranny free life. The author writes in a Desperate but Patriotic tone for the colonists. This work is significant to me and history because through out history from the very beginning there has been one person that drives America and continues to outline our natural rights and that person for the 18th century was Thomas Paine, It gives me hope that maybe I can one day carry the torch and have that person be me.
India A.
10/2/2016 04:41:22 pm
@ Kahjirah H.
Kahjirah Harris @india
10/2/2016 05:36:24 pm
I got my tone because yes he was very hopeful, he was desperate in a sense of him wanting and basically needing the colonists to unite, for example in the text where he says, I'm not calling for one but all states, no matter the background rich or poor. Maybe our definitions of desperate are different but he was definitely in need of there help and made it very clear that in order for America to be liberated he needed all colonist to band together.
Attis
10/4/2016 07:22:24 pm
India: Great and positive analysis
Attis
10/4/2016 07:24:16 pm
Khajirah: Desperate has a very negative connotation. Perhaps a more accurate tone based on the evidence that you provided is urgent.
Jamecia Shakoor
10/2/2016 05:54:29 pm
@Kahjirah Harris
Kahjirah Harris @Jamecia
10/2/2016 05:59:29 pm
Thank you best friend :) I got my tone word desperate because in the passage he is basically pleading them to come and fight, it is desperate because he is using many methods such as pathos, ask them to come join the revolution. He mentions how it doesn't matter where they come from all he wants is for them to fight.
India A.
10/2/2016 04:27:01 pm
Thomas Paine in the article, The American Crisis, argues that colonists should rebel against Britain's tyranny. Paine supports his argument by first explaining that by Britain taxing colonists and “binding" them is a form of slavery and that God should only possess that power. He then describes that God is his guidance through this battle of freedom because God will bless him with a "flourishing mind" and "uninterrupted health." Lastly the author challenges colonist to gather strength from distress, and smile in trouble because the end will justify the means. Paine's purpose is to motivate colonists to fight for their freedom and to point out that the loyalists and Tories are cowards for wanting to remain “enslaved." The author writes in an authoritative but passionate tone for the colonists. This work is significant because it gives citizens a sense of patriotism and the outcome ended in success.
Kahjirah Harris @india
10/2/2016 05:43:34 pm
Hey India, good job on your scholarly tone throughout the précis. I believe your claim or what you saw as the argument could have been a little bit more detailed. Also though your details were good, they could have also been more detailed especially since these are your points in helping explain why the main claim you appointed was the main claim. I disagree with one of your tone words, yes he was passionate but I don't understand the authorities part. Also I wish your explanation of why the work is significant was a little more detailed. Overall, I liked how your scholarly tone is developing.
India A.
10/2/2016 05:54:08 pm
@ Kahjirah H.
Attis
10/4/2016 07:32:48 pm
India: Always defense your choices with direct textual evidence
Terrianna Phillips
10/2/2016 11:44:49 pm
Great job India boo, I loved your précis! We have different claims (not saying its wrong) , but how did you get it. I understand where you came from with it though. I don't believed he challenged the colonists to gather strength , can you explain It to me. I guess I interpreted it differently. Lastly , I thought that the reason it was significant had something to do with what you learned from it?
Majesta Mendelsohn
10/2/2016 06:35:27 pm
Thomas Paine in the article, The American Crisis argues that the colonist should unite against the British tyranny to fight for their freedom. Paine supports his argument by first explaining how under British rule they are being unfairly taxed which he believes is like being enslaved. He then explains how by God having the highest power he would not allow the colonist to be ruled under a tyrant. Lastly, the author explains how although they are small in size in comparison the British military and they don't have as much military equipment they should unite so they will be able to defeat the British and gain their freedom. Paine's purpose is to persuade all colonist no matter rich or poor that they should all come together in order to regain their freedom from the British. The author writes in an passionate yet formal tone for the colonist. This work is significant because it persuaded the colonist to unite and patriotically fight against the British which sparked a revolution.
Aiyana
10/2/2016 07:05:01 pm
Great precis!! I agree with your argument and how you were very detailed. I like that you used a scholarly tone. Also, I would like to know how you got passionate as one of your tones.
Aiyana Parkman
10/2/2016 07:01:36 pm
Thomas Paine in the article, The American Crisis, argues that it is necessary for the colonists to battle Britain for their independence.Paine supports his argument by first explaining that if the revolutionaries and the Tories do not compromise they must battle. He then goes on to argue that if America fight this battle they will succeed because it wouldn't be right for men with good intentions to fail. Lastly, the author illustrates what an America will be when it doesn't fight back against Britain.Paine's purpose is to persuade and convince the colonist that a war against Britain is necessary in order to gain independence. The author writes in an enraged but serious tone for American colonist. This work is significant because it shows how determined people were to fight Britain for independence.
Kahjirah Harris @aiyanna
10/2/2016 08:34:57 pm
Your claim is really good. Your data how ever I feel could have accented your claim better. Also I think you misinterpreted who the Tories where. They were American loyalist. I'd like to know how you got your data because I did not catch any of those points while reading the passage. Your purpose is nice. Your tone words are excellent. I wish you would have Incorporated more SAT words, so I can see your scholarly tone. Overall good job.
Majesta Mendelsohn
10/2/2016 11:20:45 pm
@Aiyana 10/2/2016 07:12:52 pm
I like the tone you got from the article. You need to reread your article and make sure your sentences are grammatically correct. Everybody should have their independence and if going to war is how they get it then so be it.I understand your whole thinking perspective on this.
khaniya Hoard @aiyana
10/2/2016 07:14:36 pm
Khaniya Hoard
10/2/2016 07:36:54 pm
Thomas Paine in the article, The American Crisis argues that if going to war with Britain gets them their Independence then so be it. Paine supports his claim by first explaining how Britain has control over the other colonies.He then compares slavery to all of this imperialistic behavior. Lastly, the author demonstrates how America will be at ruins if England wins the war. Paine's purpose is to convince other nations that if someone try to intrude on their land fight for it so that they won't become puppets. The author writes in an serious but patriotic tone for the colonist. This work is significant because not a lot of people have the courage to fight in a war. Now days people feel like they don't have to work for things but they do; our history is what we are and we need to continue making history instead of living off of what those people did. It's time for us to start making a change.
Samone Christian
10/2/2016 07:46:55 pm
Good job Khaniya friend😂👌🏾. I agree with your tone and that's a good reason as to why it's significant but your purpose was a little sideways. Yes, he wants the people to take up for their land but not so they won't become puppets. It's more so they won't have to suffer from tyranny any longer. Good job though.
Kahjirah Harris @Khaniya
10/2/2016 08:13:35 pm
Your scholarly tone is improving good job. You claim was good. You data however I do not feel it gave justice to your claim, they lack detail, and your data is basically an explanation of why you said that was your claim and I felt as though they did not go into much depth, causing a sink whokle in your précis. Your tone was good and it fit the passage. I feel as though you reasoning for why the passage was significant could have sounded !ore scholarly and professional. Overall you are improving.:)
Khaniya Hoard @kahjirah
10/3/2016 12:51:35 pm
I followed the outline of the precis and if the outline didn't ask for detail then you shouldn't be asking for it either. Stay in your lane you are not Dr.Attis. If you want to critique someones work then you need to have a career in teaching. My data is supposed to explain why that is my claim.I could have went into depth more, I agree with you on that. Well the reason it is significant to me is my opinion and not your so find something else to talk about. THANK YOU for your inputs on my precis!!!!
Attis
10/4/2016 07:43:26 pm
Khaniya: Oh Lord!!
Samone Christian
10/2/2016 07:42:27 pm
Thomas Paine in the article, asserts that the British should be removed in order to escape tyranny. Paine supports his assertions by first investigating how in the 14th century the whole English army, was driven back like men petrified with fear. He then defines how Britain, with an army to enforce tyranny, has declared a right not only to tax but "to bind us in all cases whatsoever". Lastly, the author convinces the people that they should consider his side because the British were trying to withhold powers only God could have. Paine's purpose is to persuade the people to go against Britain and make them leave so that they can escape tyranny and live free without all the consequences and unfairness. The author writes in an urgent but critical tone for the colonists and the general population. This work is significant because it helped mark the age of revolution.
Lunye @Samone
10/2/2016 07:59:59 pm
Great Job Samone Boo ! I like how you incorporated lines from the text. However , I want to hear your scholarly tone a little more. The tone words you picked were okay. I understood how you got them. All togther good first precis.
Kahjirah Harris @Samone
10/2/2016 08:23:29 pm
Hey Samone, good job but I do have a few critiques. I feel as though your claim of what the passage asserting could have went into detail about the removal part. Your data did not go into much detail, and I'd like to know where you got 14 century from when this happened in 1776. Your data is supposed to be more in depth how will inkmow if you understood what you were reading if you cant explain how you got your, claim.I like your tone words. Lastly I think your reasoning of why the work is significant did not really explain how it was significant.
Lunye P.
10/2/2016 07:51:35 pm
Thomas Paine in the article, The american crisis argues the importance of the American Independence from Britain. Paine supports his argument by first explaining his thoughts on the government, religion and the colonial framework. He then explains the government and society, and how religion ties in as a whole.Lastly the Author explains the government is used as a institution and its main purpose is to protect the life of the people. Pains purpose is to fight for the freedom of America and the colonist, in order to live a life free of tyranny. The author writes in a patriotic yet , formal tone for the colonist. This work is significant because it shows how Thomas Paine cared for America enough to write why America was in a crisis and how we could fix the crisis.
Kahjirah Harris @Lunye
10/2/2016 08:29:43 pm
Hola Lunye:) Your claim was excellent, but your data could use some depth. They don't explain how his argument was "the importance of American Independence". For example your second data, it doesn't go into depth of how religion played a part in his argument. Your purpose is on point. I also like your tone words. Over all, maybe next time you can throw in some scholarly toned words, but it was good.
Jancy @Lunyeezy
10/2/2016 09:32:25 pm
Hey Lunye! I agree with KJ. I believe that you are too much of a great scholar for not going into enough depth. I think that you should have had been a bit more detailed with your precis. I do like the tone words that you chose, because this was a very patriotic article. Other than that your precis was good. We are all developing our writing skills so I can't be an aggressive judge. <3 :) :*
Jamecia Shakoor
10/2/2016 08:32:50 pm
Thomas Paine in the article The American Crisis, argues that the colonists should lead a revolt against the tyrannical king and the soldiers of Britain. Paine supports his claim by first illustrating how Britain controls the colonies like Marionettes and leaves them little to any freedom. He then explains how God is the ultimate lord and savior and that they should not listen to the king or follow his rules. Lastly, the author gives them hope by saying that though they maybe small and outnumbered against one of the most powerful armies of its time but, their diligence and perseverance to be free can conquer all. Paine's purpose is to build the confidence of the colonists so that they can have the strength to lead one of the most powerful rebellions in History. The author writes in a patriotic but, pleading tone for the colonists. This work is significant because, it shows how even one of the most successful rebellions in history triumphed the most powerful military in the world, making a statement that, size doesn't matter, the strength to overcome a great evil does.
Kahjirah Harris @Jamecia
10/2/2016 08:39:39 pm
Your claim is wonderful. Though I would like to see how you got your second data point. Your data looks really good and I like how you used a well spoken tone. Your purpose is good too. Also I love your tone, I agree with the pleading part. Your reasoning for why the work is significant is lit and awesome. You are improving well.
Jamecia Shakoor
10/2/2016 08:43:12 pm
@Kahjirah Harris
Khaniya Hoard @kahjirah@Jamecia
10/3/2016 12:55:50 pm
You are basically saying that nothing is wrong with her precis but something is wrong with everybody else. Come on now kahjirah you still coming for everybody but your competition is your bestfriend Jamecia who you are not coming for. OOOOOO OK!!!
Jancy Vasquez
10/2/2016 09:27:06 pm
Thomas Paine in the Article, Chapter-1 The American Crisis argues that the harder the conflict,the more glorious the triumph. Paine supports his argument by first claiming that the heavens will bring victory upon the regime, that the king is not god and has no say in what will occur. Paine later explains that there has not there been a great lost and they are prepared to battle for their independence from Britain, the bigger the battle the greater victory and more success. Lastly Paine describes the hardships that they will encounter and that God will protect them and bring them freedom for all. Paine's purpose is to demonstrate that the British king can never place the Heavens again them, in order so that the regime can win the war and obtain the freedom that they deserve.Only the strong will continue onto the war and will sacrifice themselves for freedom. Paine writes is a very aggressive but compassionate tone. This work is significant because many solders believed that the war against Great Britain will bring freedom upon them. They claimed that God protected them and that their enemies will only be enemies for a temporary purpose, which is the war.
Terrianna Phillips
10/2/2016 11:37:29 pm
Thomas Paine in the book , The American Crisis, argues that the harder the conflict, the greater the victory. Paine’s supports his argument by first illustrating that the British had control over the American colonies, and how that was a form of slavery. He then goes on to explain how having God as the higher power means that they will always have someone to support and never give up on them. Lastly, the author explains that there should be no fear of the British army just because they have more people. The author’s purpose for this text was to motivate the colonists to unite in order to fight for the freedom of America and themselves. The author writes in an motivate but serious tone for the American patriots and soldiers This work is significant because it teaches me that every obstacle in the road leads to a greater success.
Auhjulay Hickman
10/3/2016 12:01:49 am
Thomas Paine in the article, The American Crisis, argues that the war against Britian must be fought with seriousness and won. Paine supports his argument by first explaining how the British repressed the American colonies freedom through taxes or any case at all. He then describes how the Americans took their independence for granted and did not prepare properly for the previous war against Britain. Lastly, the author challenges all of the people in all states to come together and aid the Americans in their battle against Britain. Paine's purpose is to encourage the American colony as well as the other states to fight in the battle against Britain with seriousness in order to maintain and secure America's independence and freedom. The author writes in a patriotc but passionate tone for the american colony and the other aiding states. This work is significant because Paine's encouragement is one of the many things that assisted in America's freedom today.
Tatyana Davis
10/3/2016 12:15:06 am
Great job. Again wonderful use of scholarly words. I agree with your tone completely even though I got something different. How did the Americans take their independence for granted.
Tatyana Davis
10/3/2016 12:05:48 am
Thomas Paine in the book, The American Crisis, argues that America was still a slave to Britain. Paine supports his claim by first explaining that the British can bind them in any case. He then describes that it is now America's job to overthrow the tyranny of Britain. Lastly, the author illustrates that although it won't be easy the things worth fighting for usually are not easy. Paine's purpose is to unite the colonists so that they may uphold America's freedom. The author writes in a serious but desperate tone. This work is significant because it encourages me to remain strong in even the toughest of times.
Auhjulay Hickman
10/3/2016 12:13:43 am
@Tatyana Davis
Percie Thompson
10/3/2016 06:26:26 am
Thomas Paine in the article, The American Crisis argues that the colonist should unite against England in order to fight for their freedom and regain control over their country. Paine supports his argument by first explaining how being under England's rule was equivelent to slavery because England literally owned them. He then explains that God is the only man that should have such power, and since the king is not god they need to defend themselves and this sacred land. Lastly, the author explains that the are small in size and strength compared to the British military but they should unite so that they will be able to defeat the British and gain their freedom through unity, that unity will provide hope, and hope can defeat England. Paine's purpose is to gather all colonist no matter rich or poor so that can all come together in order to regain their freedom from England and let tyranny be a problem no more. The author writes in an passionate but formal tone for the colonist. This work is significant because it shows how much of a leader during this time of an American crisis, Thomas was and that unity is keen when the discussion of freedom is happening. Comments are closed.
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