After you are done close reading and annotating the text, you are to use the template to compose a rhetorical precis. You are then to evaluate the precis of one peer. Your evaluation should be critical in nature and should discuss ALL parts of the precis. Everything cant be correct, so your job is to help them improve their analysis and writing by finding mistakes and discussing those mistakes in a respectful tone and manner. Your response should be a minimum of 4 sentences.
Kahjirah Harris
9/24/2016 09:04:37 pm
Phillis Wheatly in the poem, To his Excellency General Washington claims that George Washington was a brave leader and should continue to fight for America's freedom. Wheatly supports her claim by first illustrating exuberance in the American people at the winsome acts of dauntlessness. She then defines how General Washington is a specimen of tranquility and approbation. Lastly, the author analyzes how America has found its indignation since George has become general, also America has realized it's eminence and will triumph against any doubts. Wheatly's purpose persuades Washington to be vigilant while battling for America's freedom, and point out his supremacy on America's future so that he will approach these battles knowing of his influence. The authors writes in a patriotic but pleading tone for George Washington. This work is significant to me because it shows me that even though America hasn't always treated slaves equally, we were just as patriotic and loving towards American freedom as anyone else and that no matter what this is our country just as much as Donald Trump claims it as his.
khaniya Hoard
9/25/2016 08:02:53 pm
Your precis was great but I don't understand how this poem was pleading. It talks about Washington being a leader and how they fought for freedom. You are right about our country being ours just as much as Donald Trump think its his but he isn't president yet;it can go either way.Other than that,you summed up this poem pretty well; excellent choice of words.
Kahjirah Harris @Khaniya
9/25/2016 08:15:50 pm
The poem definitely talks about how good of a leader George Washington was but in the poem she mentions how he has a great influence on Americas future depending on how he goes about these wars, it is pleading because she is in a way asking his to oelase continue to fight for our freedom but be vigilant when going about these wars. also, I wasn't talking about him being president , he likes to claim america as his and only his. And thank you
Kahjirah Harris , left out something the first time
9/25/2016 08:23:29 pm
Phillis Wheatly in the poem, To his Excellency General Washington claims that George Washington was a brave leader and should continue to fight for America's freedom and should go into future battles vigilantly. Wheatly supports her claim by first illustrating exuberance in the American people at the winsome acts of dauntlessness. She then defines how General Washington is a specimen of tranquility and approbation. Lastly, the author analyzes how America has found its indignation since George has become general, also America has realized it's eminence and will triumph against any doubts. Wheatly's purpose persuades Washington to be vigilant while battling for America's freedom, and point out his supremacy on America's future so that he will approach these battles knowing of his influence. The authors writes in a patriotic but pleading tone for George Washington. This work is significant to me because it shows me that even though America hasn't always treated slaves equally, we were just as patriotic and loving towards American freedom as anyone else and that no matter what this is our country just as much as Donald Trump claims it as his.
Aiyana Parkman @kahjirah
9/25/2016 10:18:35 pm
Your precis was very detailed which is great. I feel that you second tone is wrong because it doesn't seem she is pleading it seems as tho she is very complimentary. Other than that your claim purpose and evidence was great.
Kahjirah Harris @Aiyana
9/26/2016 06:15:59 am
The reason I chose my second tone as pleading is because in the last stanza on page 1 and the first stanza on the back, she exclaims to him that many nations are watching his every move waiting for something to happen. To me she is pleading him or telling him that because many nations are watching him, he should go about these wars very cautiously because he will have a great influence on America's future. I hope that helps you understand why I chose it and thank you very much. :)
Lunye
9/25/2016 04:43:39 pm
Phillips Wheatley in the Poem, His Excellency General Washington explains that George Washington was a good person that she looked up to. Wheatley supports her claim by first explaining how the glorious scenes of Columbia was so glorious because of freedom. She then describes how the land of freedom's heaven defended race. Lastly, the author expresses how a great chief like Washington was to be on their side and how he was the a "crown that shine" for America. Wheatley purpose is to show how good of a leader George Washington truly was in order to express why she loved him so much. The author writes in a appreciative yet reflective tone for other people that joyful of George Washington too. This work is significant because in history they talked down on him for being a slave owner and just for being a bad person, but it is some good in him other than just be a all over shameful human being that we once called our president.
India A.
9/25/2016 04:53:52 pm
Hey Lunye, great Precis! I agree that the tone was appreciative. That ties in with the purpose that the patriots look up to him because he is fighting for their freedom. The only suggestion that I have is for you to use a more scholary ton .
Kahjirah Harris @Lunye
9/25/2016 05:43:12 pm
I disagree with what you thought the poem stated, because yes she looked up to him as a patriotic leader but she is encouraging him to continue to fight for America's freedom. All 3 of your evidences are not summarized at all. They state exactly what she says in the poem, how am I supposed to tell if you understood the poem if you couldn't summarize what she said. I also disagree with what you exclaimed as the purpose of the poem, because again yes she was explaining how much of a good leader he was but I believe her intention was to tell him that he should be careful when approaching these battles because he has great influence on America's future. Your tone is excellent but I think because you misunderstood the poem it does not fit for the poem. Overall I liked your last sentence, next time try to explain why it's important to you.
Lunye @Kahjirah
9/25/2016 09:27:50 pm
First of all everyone got this stuff confused. Just because mine is different from yours DOESN'T mean mine is wrong. NOBODY has the right answer but DR.ATTIS ! I can accept criticism but you guys take it a little too far. That's thereason she said be RESPECTFUL. Actually i didn't understand the poem but i did as best as i could. Also in the handout it doesn't say why its important to me it ASKS what impact has it made. Thanks Goodnight !
Kahjirah Harris @lunye
9/25/2016 09:35:57 pm
No one said yours was wrong. I said I think you misread the poem, and maybe misunderstood it. I don't see anywhere in my response where I disrespected you or your work? All I did was critique and stated that I think your tone words did not fit because you maybe misunderstood the poem, which you stated you did so why the hostility. And I would like to know how it was significant to you, what's wrong with that. I'm not understanding where I was disrespectful in my response I even ended with saying I enjoyed your last sentence. I'm confused
Majesta Mendelsohn
9/25/2016 09:45:50 pm
@Lunye
India A.
9/25/2016 04:44:54 pm
Phillis Wheatley in the poem, His Excellency General Washington asserts that General Washington's efforts of fighting for the new republic are praise worthy. Wheatley supports her assertion by first illustrating that the Goddess of Freedom is General Washington's guide to win the war for the patriots. She then compares the power of the Goddess of Freedom to the God Eolus by claiming they're both “pour" and “tempest" like. Lastly, the author personifies America as peaceful by comparing the Goddess of Freedom ( General Washington's guide) to an olive branch— the symbol of peace. Wheatley's purpose is to point out the attempts and efforts of General Washington in order to show that the Patriots venerate their chief. The author writes in an audacious but reverent tone. The work is significant because it suggests that a good leader is benevolent and that General Washington embodies that characteristic because he is willing to fight for the freedom of America.
Kahjirah Harris @India
9/25/2016 05:52:52 pm
I disagree with what you said the poem asserted, because though she praised his bravery she made sure to exclaim that he should be vigilant in these battles. Your data that's supports your assertion does not go into depth as how she praised him. Also you did not really summarize any of your data points, how am I supposed to see if you really understood the work if your data didn't really go into depth with your data. You did not state an audience, who are they? Also I want to know why the work is significant to you not in history. Overall, you have shown progress. :)
India A.
9/25/2016 07:51:15 pm
@Kahjirah
India A.
9/25/2016 08:00:25 pm
@Kahjirah H.
Kahjirah Harris @india
9/25/2016 08:18:09 pm
Again, I disagree with what you think the poem was about, what you asserted it was about. Yes in the poem she talks about his bravery, but towards the end of the poem she explains to him that he should go into these battles with caution because it will impact America's future greatly.
India A.
9/25/2016 08:25:07 pm
@ Kahjirah H.
Kahjirah Harris @India
9/25/2016 08:31:28 pm
Actually it did lovely, I didn't notice I didn't type it until you pointed it out, it written on my paper so I made corrections and posted a revised version. Again, I still disagree with your purpose, and also I don't think your tone words fit the poem.
India A.
9/25/2016 08:37:05 pm
@ Kahjirah H.
Kahjirah Harris @india
9/25/2016 08:40:36 pm
Yes she venerates him but I don't agree with the audacious part, maybe you should try patriotic and light hearted :) just a suggestion also me and Jamecia both know what the words mean, I don't think it properly fits the poem we read.
Kahjirah Harris @India
9/25/2016 08:50:21 pm
Again. I still feel as if your tone words do not fit the poem, it was a suggestion and a critique. That's wonderful you are in Sat prep, you can really tell by the words you used this time, you are progressing from last time.
Jamecia Shakoor
9/25/2016 07:49:45 pm
Hi India. Your response was an interesting read. I loved the strong use of vocabulary but, your tones puzzle me. The tones don't really fit the poem to me. Also, your audience seems absent. Overall, I thought the response was pretty good.
India A.
9/25/2016 08:05:15 pm
@Jamecia S.
Jamecia Shakoor
9/25/2016 08:19:14 pm
@IndiaAlbert
India A.
9/25/2016 08:30:13 pm
@ Jamecia S.
Jamecia Shakoor
9/25/2016 08:40:11 pm
@IndiaAlbert To defend is to explain. You gave me attitude and I gave it back. Questioning if I knew the definition of the words. Why would I comment a critique without being educated on the words? I didn't say your tone was wrong because, I was confused as to why you used the words. Don't come for me.
Kahjirah Harris @india
9/25/2016 08:20:41 pm
Our explanations of what the poem says is very different I said in mine, she is asking him to be cautious in how he approaches these future battles. No one ever said it wasn't an assertion I said I didn't agree with it :)
India A.
9/25/2016 08:34:18 pm
@Kahjirah H.
Kahjirah Harris @india
9/25/2016 08:36:48 pm
Yes she venerates him but I don't agree with the audacious part, maybe you should try patriotic and light hearted :) just a suggestion
India A.
9/25/2016 08:46:48 pm
@ Kahjirah H.
India A.
9/25/2016 08:50:12 pm
KAHJIRAH AND JAMECIA LEAVE ME ALONE!!! SO HELP ME SWEET BABY JESUS IN A MANGER.
Lunye @India
9/25/2016 09:34:59 pm
Great Precis India ! I think the SAT Prep call is really taking a toll on you. I can see how you incorporate my different words.It make you have a great scholarly tone. I like your tone words. However , you have to learn how to take criticism better , because people are going to criticize. I can see you understood the poem. Altogether good precis.
Majesta Mendelsohn
9/25/2016 04:48:38 pm
Phillis Wheatley in the poem, His Excellency General Washington, explains that George Washington was an influential figure during the America's fight for freedom. Wheatley supports her explanation by first illustrating the scene in Columbia and the people's want for freedom. She then describes how General Washington has impacted the military and deserves praise for his work. Lastly, the author explains how General Washington has accomplished a great deal of success for the Americans while being in charge. Wheatley's purpose is to praise General Washington's for his work in fighting for America's freedom so that by him reading her poem he will be motivated to fight harder in the war. The author writes in an appreciative and pleasant tone for General Washington. This work is significant because women especially African American women were not allowed to read or write so, the fact Phillis Wheatley was able to write to General Washington in such an educated tone shows how she did not conform to the limitation placed upon her.
Kahjirah Harris @Majesta
9/25/2016 06:14:37 pm
I disagree with your explanation of what the poem was about because yes she did explain why he was a great leader but I believe her claim was that he should be careful when entering these battles because he has a great influence on America's future. Your data was great and went into great detail. I also disagree with your purpose , again yes she praised his brave actions but her main purpose was to plead that he be careful. Your tone looks Good but I don't think it fits the poem. Your last sentence was very good but I would like to know why the work was significant to you.
Majesta Mendelsohn
9/25/2016 09:29:29 pm
@Kahjirah Thanks for your suggestion! But, I don't believe her claim was to encourage him to be careful in battle it was to, praise his efforts for the defending Americans. Also, the last sentence in the Rhetorical Precis template ask what did you learn from it or what impact has it had, so I don't have to say why it was significant to me.
Kahjirah Harris @Majesta
9/25/2016 09:40:25 pm
I always like to know how impacted the readers and I see how her could have been that but because of the last stanza on the first page she exclaims how the eyes of other nations are fixed on America and they are waiting to see what's next that he should fight on with caution. But she definitely is praising his great leadership skills
Aiyana Parkman
9/25/2016 10:07:31 pm
Phillis Wheatley in the poem, His Excellency General Washington claims that Georgia Washington is a great leader and how he needs to continue fighting for America's freedom. Wheatley supports her claim by first illustrating Goddess of Freedom as George Washington's guide to win the war for the patriots. She then compares the power of the Goddess of Freedom to the God Eolus by claiming they're “pour". Lastly, the author explains that the British have the riches but we have a brave leader. Wheatley's purpose is to point out the attempts of George Washington to gain America's freedom from the British. The author writes in an patriotic but complimentary tone. The work is significant to me because it shows how many slaves supported Washington to go and continue fighting.
Jancy @yani
9/25/2016 11:03:28 pm
I liked how you organized your precis. You need to be a bit more detailed and structured with your sentences. Just saying how he is fighting for freedom is not cutting it. Be a little more specific and explain how she complemented him so greatly. I liked how you said that slave supported him. I wonder if they knew that he had plenty of slave himself. Overall GOOD JOB. We are ALL developing our writing skills so I'm NOT claiming that mine is better than yours. :) <3
Terrianna Phillips
9/26/2016 12:25:54 am
Your precis was good but you could've used more complex words and sentence structures. Not saying your tone is wrong but how did you get it ? The last sentence of your precis could've been stronger. Overall I feel your precis was good you just could've been more detailed.
Jamecia Shakoor
9/25/2016 10:10:37 pm
Phillis Wheatley in the poem, To his excellency General Washington claims that, George Washington was a profound and great leader and that he should maintain caution when in war because, he was to have a heavy impact on the future of America. Wheatley supports her claim by first, describing George Washington’s character and praising him for his leadership skills and bravery. She then illustrates how many countries were watching America and George Washington’s revolutionary act. Lastly the author explains that if George Washington goes about these battles cautiously, they would win America’s freedom. Wheatley’s purpose is to persuade General Washington to be cautious while in war so that America’s freedom will be ensured. The Author writes in a concerned but patriotic tone for George Washington. This work is significant because, it shows how slaves believed they were going to be free after war and how they praised George Washington but, even after all of the support they gave they weren't free after the war. It just goes to show that some of America's heroes weren't truly heroes.
Percie Thompson
9/26/2016 12:09:09 am
Your rhetorical précis is well written and organized in thought. Your thesis is very deatailed and sets up the rest of your précis as it should. As far as following the outline goes, you used it as only a guide and added extra information to further back up your claim which strengthen the précis as a whole. But it is always best to stop while you're ahead. By this I mean your last line could be removed without disturbing your précis but instead making it more objective.
Khaniya Hoard
9/25/2016 10:21:23 pm
Phillis Wheatley in the poem, His Excellency General Washington, claims that freedom is worth fighting for and you're going to have to fight a lot to get the freedom you want. Wheatley supports her claim by first illustrating that the sorrows of the people are beginning to be noticed.She then explains how mother earth's army starts to fight.Lastly the author lets Washington knows that all that fighting was worth it. Wheatley purpose is to show that it is ok to go to war with others in order for you to live a good life. The author writes in an exuberant and critical way for the people who lived to see their freedom. This work is significant because people shouldn't have to live in vein because another race,country,or religion feels superior to the next.
Jancy Vasquez
9/25/2016 10:56:35 pm
Phillis Whealey, in the poem, His Excellency General Washington, explains that she admires General George Washington for his fight for freedom. Whealey supports her claim by stating that Washington is a man of peace and virtue who is also brave, then she explains the battles he is fighting in order to obtain the freedom for all the Americans, how he is the hope of the nation and everyone has their eyes set upon him. Lastly Whealey illustrates that the honor that Washington has brought upon America, makes him worthy of becoming the leader of the country and that everyone is on Washington's side "...with gold unfading, WASHINGTON! Be thine." Whealey's purpose is to admire America (whom she refers to as Columbia) for being the land of freedom for all races and how Washington is a great leader for the nation because he gained freedom for "all" ,in order so that George Washington can be named the leader of a strong nation. The author writes a passionate but audacious tone for the George Washington. This work is significant because she states how Washington could be a great leader for everyone to follow,how he brings peace within everyone. I wonder how greatly she actually influenced him if she did. How would she know that he is fit for such a strong position IF she didn't know him personally.
Jamecia Shakoor
9/25/2016 11:35:36 pm
@Jancy Vasquez My apologies, I meant to press respond so my comment on your précis is duplicated. I absolutely loved your statement. I also loved that you put why it was significant to you instead of quoting things from the poem. However I would like to ask why did you use the word audacious to describe this poem? This is the second time someone has put it and I'm curious and I want to know why. I'm not saying it's wrong, I'm asking can you explain it. Overall, You did pretty good with this piece and I loved how you interpreted the poem.
Jamecia Shakoor
9/25/2016 11:31:10 pm
@Jancy I absolutely loved your statement. I also loved that you put why it was significant to you instead of quoting things from the poem. However I would like to ask why did you use the word audacious to describe this poem? This is the second time someone has put it and I'm curious and I want to know why. I'm not saying it's wrong I'm asking can you explain it. Overall, You did pretty good with this piece and I loved how you interpreted the poem.
Auhjulay Hickman
9/25/2016 11:39:08 pm
Phillis Wheatley, in the poem, His Excellency General Washington, analyzes what a formidable leader General Washington was. Wheatly supports her explanation by first Illustrating the battle that Washington lead against the Gallic powers of Columbia. She then describes the victory of General Washing. Lastly, the author defines the aualities of General Washington that makes him a great leader. Wheatly's purpose is to point out the prominent details that makes General Washington a powerful leader so that he may be rightfully respected by the many people of America. The author writes in a patriotic yet proud tone for General Washington. This work is significant because it Americans of the modern day usually take their freedoms and rights for granted. This poem reveals just a minuscule of the trial and tribulations that many people had to go through through in order to achieve the freedom that we Americans have luxury of living in today.
Tatyana D
9/25/2016 11:48:04 pm
I think you did a fantastic job. Again you're doing good with the scholarly words. Keep developing them. Try to slow down you had some grammatical errors. How did you feel she illustrated the Gallic battle?
Tatyana D
9/25/2016 11:40:26 pm
Phillis Wheatley in the poem, His Excellency General Washington, claims that George Washington was an exceptional leader. Wheatley supports her claim by first explaining that the colonists were struggling and fighting to be free from Britain. She then compares the battles for freedom to the Greek God Eolus who is known as the King of Winds. Lastly, the author challenges Washington by telling him to continue on as the Goddess has given him a path and will guide him to freedom. Wheatley's purpose is to define the struggle for freedom and Washington's greatness so that we may see how he has paved the way for our future today. The author writes in a patriotic but passionate tone for George Washington. This work is significant because we see the true struggles that the colonists had to go through for freedom and the true greatness of our first President,George Washington.
Auhjulay Hickman
9/25/2016 11:49:31 pm
@Tatyana D
Percie Thompson
9/25/2016 11:58:31 pm
Phillis Wheatley in the poem, His Excellenacy General Washington, explains why General Washington should be praised for his courageous qualities. Wheatley supports her explaination by first describing the conflicts General Washington faced on the battle field of storms and rough seas. She then list the attributes for which he is worthy of praise; such as peace, honor, grace, and glory. Lastly the author challenges anyone who dares to argue that General Washingion and the country he defends, isn't great in virtue. Wheatley's purpose is to convince those who oppose General Washington of his greatness so that they'll then follow under his rule. The author writes in an amiable but patriotic tone for Georgia Washington. This work is significant because it shows the hope that the enslaved people held before the war and how optimistic they were at the thought of being free.
Terrianna Phillips
9/26/2016 12:09:16 am
Phillis Wheatley in the poem , His excellency General Washington, explains that George Washington was an essential necessity for the American Independence. Wheatley supports her claim by first illustrating that the American army was willing to go to war against the more powerful British army to gain independence. She then goes on to explain how America was portrayed as it relates to them standing up to the British. Lastly, the author explains how the American army was destined to fight in the war and also how the American revolution influenced the French revolution. Wheatley’s purpose is to praise and show gratitude towards General Washington for the hard work and dedication in order to defeat and conquer the British army. The author writes in a grateful and honorable tone for the American colonists. This work is significant because I have learned about the history of the American Country, and that it hasn’t always been the way it is today. Comments are closed.
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