Grey Poem
After you are done close reading and annotating the text, you are to use the template to compose a rhetorical precis. You are then to evaluate the precis of one peer. Your evaluation should be critical in nature and should discuss ALL parts of the precis. Everything cant be correct, so your job is to help them improve their analysis and writing by finding mistakes and discussing those mistakes in a respectful tone and manner. Your response should be a minimum of 4 sentences.
Grey Poem
Percie Thompson
10/24/2016 03:57:08 pm
The lady in the poem, Grey, asserts her animosity towards the color grey as an allegory for the ambiguous emotions men have regarding women and committed relationships. The lady supports her assertion by first describing the area where grey is located, "between here and nowhere"(Grey, line 12) and "between commitment and just meeting"(Grey, line 13). She then analyzes the effects of being stranded in between the areas of grey for a prolonged amount of times. Lastly, the author challenges any man with the ill intentions of courting her, to think again. The lady's purpose is to inform men that she is aware of the toils and troubles that being placed in shaded areas of grey can bring in order to avoid being dumped there ever again. The author writes in a critical but reflective tone for women who've been deserted in areas of grey and the men who placed them there. This work is significant because it alerts women to the dangers of allowing men with ill intentions to control their hearts.
Kahjirah Harris @Percie
10/26/2016 07:44:32 pm
Wonderful Précis, though I do have some critiques. Only one if your data, goes into depth, the first and second lines, I feel did not go into depth on as to why you chose your claim as your claim. They are straight out of the poem, Dr Attis has said that she highly recommends that you summarize your evidences and I agree because it doesn't show men why they support your claim. Your purpose was excellent. Your tone however, is interesting I don't see how you got critical as your number one, while it is reflective in feel as though there were better choices to accompany your fellow tone word reflective. Your last sentence was really good. Overall wonderful précis.
Khaniya Hoard @percie
10/25/2016 05:28:24 pm
I love your thoughts on GREY. I really don't see how the author wrote in a critical tone though. Even though the the women informs the man about grey doesn't mean that he still won't put her in the same situation just in a different way, so i disagree with you about the point you made there. I loved your choice of wording
Khaniya Hoard
10/25/2016 05:31:30 pm
The lady in the poem,Grey,argues that grey is the face of the excuses men make when they don’t have good intentions. She supports her argument by first using imagery.Stating that the grey men paint pretty green pictures for women who feelings later turn different colors of blue. She then lists why women hate grey. “No title,no stability,no guarantee,no boundaries,etc.” Lastly,the author compares women patience to a hot item in a store. The lady purpose is to point out the deceitfulness of men so that women can be more self-conscious of it and stay on alert. The author writes in a disturbed but sassy tone for women. This work is significant because it highlights all the aspects of the dirt men do just to bring down or lead on a women. Women are sensitive creatures and it’s not a good thing to hurt our feelings. Hurting a woman is probably the worse thing a man could do. Men need to grow up and learn from their mistakes because every mistake is a lesson learned.
Percie Thompson
10/26/2016 05:59:30 pm
I absolutely love your rhetorical précis, especially how you revert back to the text to explain your reasoning. You also took the effort to explain what the author meant from the cited lines. I wouldn't say that her tone is disturbed but I can understand why you picked it since she disliked their, men's, behavior. Overall, great job.
Kahjirah Harris
10/26/2016 06:43:09 pm
The unknown lady in the poem, "Grey", claims that she is tired of men who don't commit and that they are deceitful. Unknown supports her claim by first describing how these men feed women these lies, while tainting their happily ever after and breakin g their hearts. She then list all of the things these men refuse to give, as they take those exact things never caring about anyone's mental state after they take. Lastly, the author explains that these men do not allow women to grow because they take pieces of their hearts and continue to make excuses as to why they can't give them back. Unknown's purpose is to point out that these grey men do exist and that they manipulate their way through love so that we as women can realize that these grey men do not deserve our love or attention. The author writes in a compassionate but disgusted tone for the women in these relationships and for the men who continue to live a grey lifestyle. This work is significant because many women need to realize that it's okay to leave a man even when he's constantly saying he's "just healing". Also it is important because it can help women recognize what men are toxic and what behaviors are toxic to them.
Lunye @Kahjirah
10/26/2016 08:18:54 pm
Great Precis! I like how you used your scholarly tone through out your precis. I think your claim is very interesting but i just want you to know the n and g in breaking are friends again so you can put them back together lol. The tone word compassionate I agree with however I do not agree with disgusted. I do not feel like with reading this poem you could've possibly got disgusted. Instead of using disgusted you could've used reflective because shes like reflecting on her time with men but GOOD JOB !
Kahjirah @Lunye
10/26/2016 08:49:01 pm
Thanks Lunye, and lol it was a typo. Also, disgusting was supposed to be disturbed, so another typo, but if you want to know howni got disturbed, I felt as though it was bothered her that these men continue to live in this grey area and trapping women in there. Thank you for your critiques, I will take them into consideration next time.
Samone Christian
10/26/2016 07:35:51 pm
The woman in the poem, Grey, argues that Grey has a way of making a woman work so hard, with no guarantee for a return on her investment. Nichols supports her argument by first listing the games that Grey plays. She then quotes excuses that Grey uses on women. Lastly, the author explores the feelings Grey put women in. Nichols' purpose is to inform men to love her or leave her alone, in order to help her heal and a better woman. The author writes in a reflective but critical tone for women who are being used by men in relationships. This work is significant because it breaks down and explain all the things men do to women which hurts them.
Terrianna Phillips
10/26/2016 08:33:21 pm
Hey Ms. Christian , great job on your precis. I feel that you could've used more complex sentences which would've made your precis much longer. I feel that your evidence was very straight to the point , Which could be a good thing or a bad thing. In my opinion it is not a good thing because it makes your precis very basic. I love your audience. Overall you did a great job !
Lunye
10/26/2016 08:12:19 pm
The unknown woman in the Poem, Grey, argues how men can make a woman work so hard, with no guarantee of a official relationship for all her time spent. The woman supports her assertion by first describing how these men lie to their faces, waste there time knowing no relationship is coming out the ordeal, and how the men leave them to dry after they get what they need from them. She them describes how the men refuse to give commitment while comparing the player men to the color grey in which she describe how much she hates it.The woman's purpose is to point out how some women are taken for granted in order to not be fooled by the actions of men anymore. The author writes in a reflective,yet critical tone for women who are stuck in these situation and for men that are still players.This work is significant because as a woman I don't ever want to be blinded by a man's actions thinking its somethings its no, because no man can every play me.
Terrianna Phillips
10/26/2016 08:15:16 pm
The unknown author of the poem “Grey” , asserts that a woman can work so hard for a man’s love , but they are not guaranteed a spot in their hearts. The author supports her assertion by first explaining how the color grey represents the broken hearts and the unfulfilled wishes that women had. She then goes on to list all of the games of grey , and how they have you confused about what to do. Lastly, the author explains how the color grey makes excuses for what the men are doing to women. The unknown author's purpose is to give a better understanding about what goes on in these situations and to tell men to leave if they have no true intentions on being a real man in the relationship. The author writes in an Empowered , yet reflective tone for the women stuck in these relationships and the men who make them go through this. This work is significant because it shows us the behind the scenes of what happens and why women are the way they are when it come to relationships.
Samone @Terrianna
12/8/2016 07:10:43 pm
Good job overal!! But instead of starting it off with the unknown author, just say the gender if it's known, which is a female, so "the woman in the poem Grey" would have worked. Also look out for punctuation errors. Other than that, good job!
Jamecia Shakoor
10/26/2016 09:08:04 pm
The woman in the poem Grey, claims that men who are typically unwilling to commit and also unwilling to specify the relationship would rather be grey instead of black or white. The author supports her assertion by first using repetitive lines that men use to further stall the specification of their relationship. She then proceeds to name a long list of things the men do to make themselves look good and to further avoid the topic about the relationship. Her purpose is to express her hatred of being in grey relationships and to inform other women about the signs and inform men to cease being grey. The author writes in an outraged yet critical tone. This work is significant because, women should never be unsure of their relationship or treated as though they are on a waiting list to attend a new private school.
Majesta Mendelsohn
10/27/2016 08:49:03 am
Great Rhetorical Precis! Your claim is very descriptive with explaining what the author wants to reader to understand. Also, you did well with using your scholarly voice throughout the precis. I do agree that the tone was critical but not quite outraged because although she did not accept the way Grey treated women her writing didn't express rage to me. The significance that you wrote for the Grey poem is also very good as well.
Majesta Mendelsohn
10/26/2016 09:53:23 pm
The woman in the poem Grey, explains how men will string women along to think that they will end up in a relationship although he has no true intentions of pursing the relationship. She supports her claim by first describing how Grey keeps her stuck in-between a serious relationship and its complicated. She then explaining how the "relationship" with Grey is all an illusion with no stability or guarantee. Lastly, the author explains that if Grey has no true intentions with her, he should just leave her alone. Her purpose is to point out that although a woman may be committed to a man, he will still string her along. The author writes in an reflective yet disappointed tone for women who have be strung along and men who string women along. This work is significant because by being a woman although we might have positive intentions going into a relationships not everyone has the same plan.
Jancy Vasquez
10/26/2016 10:47:14 pm
The unknown author in the poem "Gray",argues that men are disloyal and they are not committed to relationships that,they are unable to maintain a healthy relationship with their lover. The author supports her claim by first describing how grey represents men; they lack stability, guarantee, boundaries, and how their relationships are simply an illusion of partnership. Then she states how men enjoy to receive your intense feelings, but you are not "good enough" for those feelings to be returned. Lastly, the author argues that women are never given the opportunity to be the queen they they deserve to be, to truly love themselves and be loved purely. The authors purpose is to show how women are treated in relationships, how men represent the color gray, in order so that women can find their true love, someone who is loyal and who will treat you like a queen. The author writes in a reflective but disappointing tone for young women who are searching for relationship also for women who are stuck in bad relationships. This work is significant because it impacted me a way that will motivate me to have more standards in men and being more detailed with how I am treated by my significant other.
Aiyana
10/27/2016 09:18:39 am
Great precis!! I feel that you are getting better each time with your precis. I agree with your claim and tones.
Jamecia Shakoor
11/2/2016 05:21:02 pm
Great precis. I agree with your introduction statement and the purpose. However I disappointed isn't a very good tone word to describe this poem in my opinion. She seemed more enraged. Overall great job
Aiyana Parkman
10/27/2016 09:16:41 am
The lady in the poem, Grey, claims that you will be committed to a man, but, he will not be committed to you. She supports her claim by first describing how men feed women these lies and make them believe they have something but in the end get their heart broken. She then lists the “games of grey” which messes with your feelings. These feelings have you feeling confused about the whole “relationship”. Lastly, the author explains how the color “grey” doesn’t let a woman be what she wants to be and how it doesn’t let her actually find love. The lady’s purpose is to tell these low-down men to love her and these women or leave them alone so that women can find real love. The author writes in a reflective but disappointed tone for women that suffer through this and for the men that put them through this. This work is significant because many women and young adults do not realize that these men don’t have any intentions on actually being with them, they just want one thing.
Jancy @Yani
10/27/2016 04:49:32 pm
Great precis Yani. I liked how you explained that grey represents men, and how its hard for women to find true love. When you said low-down men i didn't completely understand, do you mean disloyal and unfaithful men, or just men overall. .....They just want one thing.....?
Tatyana Davis
10/27/2016 08:59:20 pm
The unknown woman in the poem, Grey, claims that "grey has a way of making a woman work so hard, with no guarantee for a return on her investment." This woman supports her claim by first explaining that it leaves the woman waiting for confirmation that she is good enough for her feelings to be returned. She then describes how the woman tries to buy his love giving him time and doing him favors. Lastly, the author lists the things the woman goes through while trying to get a disloyal man to commit to her.The authors purpose is to point out the things a woman goes through with trying to love someone that can't love them back in order to show these women the true intentions of such a man. The author writes in a reflective but critical tone for single women. This work is significant because it points out the symptoms of a disloyal man allowing us to know what to look for.
@Tatyana Davis
10/27/2016 09:31:23 pm
Great job! I absolutely love the response. However, I am a little curious of your wordings. For example, instead of using the word "buy" don't you think "earn" would have been a better term? Also, remember to use that scholarly voice! But other than that, I believe you did a wonderful job. Well done.
Auhjulay Hickman
10/27/2016 09:26:36 pm
The unidentified author in the poem, Grey, asserts that the color grey is an analogy of dishonest and unloyal men. He or she supports his or her assertion by first comparing the color grey to “men who have no true intentions". He or she then lists examples of how 'Grey' men may cause women to feel confused and question their self-worth. Lastly, the author poses a challenge for the men of grey to either become loyal and honest or to simply depart from them. The author's purpose is to impugn dishonest men so that they may realize the harm that their actions may generate and better themselves. It is also to sympathize with women so that they know that they are not alone in their emotions and to refuse to allow these type of men to detour them from their happiness. The author writes in a tone of earnest and reflection for women who happen to cross paths with unfaithful men and men who find themselves unwilling to commit but continues to encourage false hope in women. This work is significant because it appears to come from the perspective of a person who has first hand experience with such pain. This allows readers to easily connect with the author and clearly view the author's ideas from their perspective.
Tatyana Davis
10/27/2016 10:51:56 pm
Again I think you have wonderful scholarly words. How did you get your tone? Why do you believe that it was created to better men? I like your claim and I think your data supports it.
India A
11/4/2016 10:33:20 am
Samone @India
11/8/2016 01:55:32 pm
Your précis was okay. I understood what you were trying to say but make sure next time you fix all grammar and punctuational issues before submitting. Comments are closed.
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